Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Dangerously Close

So, I treated myself the other night. I did something that has only happened twice since having the Trex but I used to do all the time pre-pregnancy. It is slow and hot and just envelopes you in delicious sensations.

I took a bath.

Now, the house we bought has a death trap of a bath tub. Ignore the clutter and cleaning supplies but take a look:

See that step? The handicap pull bar for safety? The fact that you have to step up three feet then back down to get in? Yeah. Bleeding deathtrap.

But also notice: It's a jacuzzi tub. Yeah, I get excited just saying it. With the baby, house and move though, this was only the second time I've been able to use the jets. We plan on ripping all of that out, so I'm going to do my best to enjoy it while I can.

The main point of me taking a bath however is hair management. Shaving is something that's happened more often than bathing, but still less often than I'd like. Plus, I'm loathe to spend the money on razor heads, but if I cheap out, my legs pay the price. So expensive little Venus razor heads it is. The problem is that they remain sharp the first couple of trips, and then they tug, tear and burn their way through my leg hair like they're conquering a forest people. My skin is crazy sensitive, so I either have to hate how much I spend on razors or suffer perpetual razor burn and ingrown hairs.

Like all my awesomely bad ideas, this one started with a thought-"I wonder if Shaun's safety razor would work on legs?". If you don't know what I'm talking about, google safety razor. Go ahead. I'll wait.

Oh good, you're back. So yeah, safety razor? Razor blades. Housed in a little bit of metal. Inflexible razor head. Doesn't this seem like a good idea?

I totally did not crawl into the bath tub intending to use this obvious death device upon my person. Circumstances dictated extremes, however. I'd gone beyond stubble and into the territory of what can only be thought of as a "leg beard". A couple swipes with my good ole' half dull Venus razor was enough to let me know that I could shave my leg a couple inches at a time, pausing to clean the razor after every pass, or I could...no, I really shouldn't.

But I did.


Once I recovered from the heart attack, I realized that my legs have never been smoother since my body began growing hair. Now, it's entirely possible that I terrified the hair into leaving, but I'm three days post shave and still damn near perfectly smooth. If you're a brave soul, I highly recommend trying a safety razor shave.

A couple of notes though:
#1. Do Not try to use it on the curvy parts of your leg. Remember that "inflexible head" part? Yeah. Avoid your knees and the backs of them.
#2. Shave in straight lines. Slowly. Carefully.
#3. Don't move.

I hold no liability for you bleeding out, however.


  1. I had to use a straight razor to shave my arm pits when I was in the hospital before Peanut was born. It was a harrowing experience.

  2. Just looking at a safety razor gave me goosebumps!