Next time you're sitting around, browsing through Netflix streaming selection, I have just the movie for you! You need to watch The Last Lovecraft: Relic of Cthulhu.
At this time I want to share how happy I am that my computer knows how to spell Cthulhu
Longish post:
Anyway... The Last Lovecraft. Let me start by saying this movie is oh so terrible. The special effects are pretty bad, the acting is just not good, the plot a bit silly. But the dialog!! Oh my gracious! Some seriously awesome lines are said.
The movie starts with two guys on a boat meeting a bloody, water death. Then we learn there is a secret society of old dudes that are protecting us from Cthulhu and his worshipers. The Relic of Cthulhu has been found and must be delivered to HP Lovecraft's last remaining descendant.
Oh, let me back up. Turns out the works by HP Lovecraft about Cthulhu are all true. You know Cthulhu, Old God, instills horror and insanity at the site of him. So yeah.
We find out Jeff, a loser in a dead end job, is the last of Lovecraft's bloodline. Jeff must protect the Relic of Cthulhu from Cthulhu's worshipers so they can't use it to open R'lyeh the ancient underwater city where Cthulhu is trapped.
So, yeah. The movie is Jeff and his friend running from Cthulhu's worshipers. They get help from a guy they knew in high school and a Scottish? Nova Scotian? fisherman named Captain Olaf.
Then there's running, freaky fish people, blood, screaming, blood and I won't ruin the ending.
Some of my favorite lines:
"You boys ever been fish raped? It's not something you're likely to forget"
"Sure those scaled, web hands may tickle a bit.. then BAM it's anchovy Popsicle, if ya catch my meanin' "
Gary the Fishman
"Jeff, there's nothing common sense about a mer-guy named 'Gary' living in an RV"
The point is you should watch this movie and soak in all the glorious, terrible, awesomeness.
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