Just Pretending.

  At times I still feel like an awkward, too skinny, big breasted, teenager.  The girl that was just a bit too loud to cover the fact that she was so amazingly insecure. The one that stood in the shadows of friends hoping against hope to be noticed by the boys, but feeling to ugly to think they would take a second glance.  The girl that wore over-sized shirts to because she was so self conscious about her body.
  I feel like I'm not really a grown up and everyone around me knows it. That all the adults around me whisper behind their hands, "Who is she kidding?" I sit quietly in groups because I'm afraid when I speak I will sound just plain silly. It is  like I'm just pretending and any minute things will become clear.